Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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