I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
