Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
