awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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