I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You left your phone here
Wait...
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
