bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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