wat bout pragnant strippers??
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
