you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
