gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
