I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
