All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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