You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
