dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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