One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
