69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
