Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
