sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
