i always forget guys have bellybuttons
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
