so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
