i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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