Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you win again, gameday.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
