He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
