Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
