i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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