Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
