they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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