Got a toothbrush?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
