Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
