u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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