You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
