Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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