if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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