Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
