i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Randomize
