He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
