Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
