I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
