he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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