My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
