Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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