Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
