Walk of Shame. In a state park.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
