hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
