lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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