i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
