do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
