apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
