Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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