his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
