I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
