just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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