I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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