So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
