he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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