Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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