You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
i think my cat just said my name.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
