with your own penis?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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