Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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